Perspective
by Educate the Masses
Summary: Kate gets shot. Castle gets perspective.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I am only submitting this because of the drought...I never intended to submit it. It isn't finished (which is why it's a T rating), but I have three very active children which makes me a slow writer. Sorry in advance. Hope you like it. If you don't, let me know what would make it better. I'm a big girl, I can take it.**

**Perspective**

**Around 2:00a.m**

Kate turns the key and opens the door. Castle is close behind her. It's mid-summer and though the heat and the humidity were oppressive outside, Kate's apartment was refreshingly cool.

"I'm going to take a shower." She muttered as she walked down a hallway that he assumed led to the bedroom and the bathroom.

"Call if you need anything." It was not a quip or a joke. He was not in the mood for that. He watched her walk away; there was a patch of blood on the back collar of her shirt that must have come from the abrasion on her head. He looked down at his own clothes. He had his jacket in a bag from the hospital. It had taken the brunt of the blood from his head wound. He had blood on his shirt and pants, a mixture of hers and his. The events of the day were weighing heavily on him; otherwise he would have been fascinated by his first visit to her apartment.

His head thundered and his hand immediately flew to the bandage on his right temple. "Sixteen stitches. Ugh." He needed some ibuprofen. Rick walked into the kitchen hoping that Kate kept her medication in there instead of the bathroom. She was neat; everything had its place and even though it wouldn't make the style section, her taste in furnishings was…classy.

Castle found the ibuprofen in the first cabinet he opened, to the right of the sink. He couldn't help but notice that it was the only medicine bottle in there. The cabinet was also the home of the glasses, so he grabbed one and turned to the fridge. Opening the freezer to grab a few ice cubes, he took a quick inventory of its contents.

"Hmmmm. Chopin vodka, Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Frozen yogurt, a piece of salmon and what? Half a box of corndogs? It's like that game from Sesame Street, 'One of these kids is doing his own thing…'"

Making a mental note to ask Kate a follow-up question, he grabbed the ice. Tonight was not a vodka night; it was more like a whiskey night, and he found the rest of her liquor over the sink. Washing down the pills, Rick meandered into the living room. There were two bookshelves side by side, and even though he could see his books on a lower shelf , what drew him to the shelves were the pictures.

There must have been several dozen of all different sizes. Family pictures mostly, some might have been friends, but he noticed a resemblance in several of the photos. He remembered from The File that she had two sisters and a brother, all older. Kate was apparently that "caboose" child. There was one picture towards the back that must have been her mother, her sisters and Kate as an infant.

One that particularly moved him was a picture of a teen Kate. She must have been around eighteen. Her hair was long and pulled back in a pony tail. She was wearing a Columbia t-shirt and she was holding a newborn. It was obvious she had been crying, but she had the biggest smile on her face. Tucked in the corner of the frame was a school portrait of a young girl. Rick turned it over. On the back was written "To Aunt Kate, Johanna Beckett Moore, Age 11. I love you!"

He placed the photo back in the corner of the frame and walked to the window. It was very dark, but he wasn't looking at anything in specific. _She almost died today. There are so many things she hasn't done yet. She needs to get married, have children of her own. To grow old. To make Captain, see the world. _

He felt nauseous as the thoughts tumbled in his brain. He replayed the scene over and over in his head. He sees the junkie point the gun at her chest at almost point-blank range and pull the trigger. He sees her fall. The junkie then edges even closer to her and aims the gun at her head. Castle shudders and leans his head against the window.

_She was almost killed today._

"I called Lanie. She's coming over. You don't have to stay."

He turned around and there she was, leaning against the door frame. _She's alive._ He had to keep telling himself that. Her hair was still wet and fell past her shoulders. She was wearing a white tank top and black yoga pants that hung low on her hips. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn't wearing shoes or make-up, but she looked young -- like the girl in the photo. He couldn't see the right side of her face really well, but he did notice the impressive bruise that peeked out of the top of the tank.

"You could have died. You were almost killed."

"And the great Castle came to my rescue again. One more time, you saved my life. I guess I owe you, right?" She was smiling when she said it, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. She was trying to lighten the mood.

"Don't. Don't do that." He starts to walk toward her. "Don't make it out to be some ordinary event that we can laugh about."

"Castle, it's my job." He stops right in front of her and leans in with his retort.

"It's NOT your job. It's not your job to get killed. Just because you put yourself out there everyday, doesn't mean it's your job to die that way."

She nodded her head. There was no point arguing with him now. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Things always look clearer in the light of day." As the words tumbled out of her mouth, she almost choked on them. Her mother used to tell her that all of the time. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Her exhaustion and emotions were getting the better of her.

Castle's hand came up to the bruise on her chest. He lightly traced the upper arch of the purplish greenish area. The shot would have been a direct hit without the vest. He could feel her heart beating in his fingertips. He felt her tremble, and he looked into her eyes. Then slightly upwards and to the left he saw the abrasion on her right temple. It was the reason he was here. She had a concussion from hitting the concrete floor so hard after being shot. His left hand drew up to her face and he brushed his thumb along her jaw line.

"You were almost killed," he whispered.

"I'm alive," she murmured, still trembling from the proximity of him and his hands on her.

"I….." Castle leaned in and ever so gently brushed his lips over hers. It was the second time in the last twelve hours that his lips covered hers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so this is a rewrite of chapter 2. Since I didn't like the first "chapter 2" I posted, I didn't want it out there forever for posterity. This one is much more detailed and a little longer, but takes you to the same place. So reading it again is obviously your choice. Chapter 3 is written and on its way.**

**Around 2:00 pm the previous day**

This case was gruesome. A young man, still yet to be identified, was found in the park, just past the tree line. He was completely dismembered. Kate received the call at around 5 am. Castle showed up with coffee and a bear claw. He was still trying to get in her good graces, and while she enjoyed the food, she was still pissed about The File. They had to hang back in the park when they arrived at the scene. A pack of stray dogs were in a feeding frenzy over the body parts. Animal control had to be called in to retrieve the animals, and they were having a hell of a time. Kate got a kick out of watching Castle, Esposito and Ryan watch the scene with childlike fascination.

It wasn't clear in the beginning if this was an animal attack or a homicide, but it had to be treated as a homicide until proven otherwise. Once Lanie had the body parts back at the morgue, she was able to see cutting marks on the bones underneath all of the bite marks.

"There was definitely an axe and some other very large, serrated blade used to 'section' the victim. Maybe a hacksaw." When Kate and Castle went down to get her report, the M.E. kindly spared them from seeing all of the body pieces. There were pictures in the file if they needed to see something. However, Lanie did show them a large piece of skull with a gunshot wound in the middle. "There's your COD," she replied, "but time of death is going to be much trickier. Between the heat, the dogs and the post-mortem mutilation, it's going to take some time."

Castle, Beckett and her team were exhausted. Ryan and Esposito were still out canvassing the area. Castle was sitting next to her desk in his usual seat, poring over the M.E. report, looking for any clues as to who the victim was. Kate glanced his way and couldn't help but wonder how he managed to still look clean and crisp after being out in the heat and humidity wearing a jacket. But then again he wasn't even supposed to be here. He had violated her privacy and her trust. She told him they would be through. But the Brass had other ideas, so Castle stayed. Even though Kate was not able to "kick him to the curb," so to speak, she was not going to make it easy for him to get her trust back.

Kate was leaning on a desk in front of the murder board, staring at it. Rick knew she was not actually seeing what was on the board, which wasn't much. She had a far-away look in her eyes. It almost looked like she was zoning out. Kate never used to get tired this early. Maybe there was trouble in paradise? Castle could only hope. Kate and Will Sorenson started dating not too long after Sorenson was discharged from the hospital, about two months ago. Rick wondered if what he did, his betrayal, drove her into Sorenson's arms. His thoughts were interrupted by the phone on her desk.

Kate strides over.

"Beckett."

"Hey, it's Esposito. We found this homeless guy in our canvas that had some interesting info about the scene we found in the park this morning."

"Go on."

"He says that a junkie came out of the woods in the park last night covered in blood and screaming, 'Run for your lives! I just saw a giant monster tear a guy apart in there!'" Javier chuckled. "Maybe we should call Mulder and Scully."

"Who are Mulder and Scully?" Beckett asked. At that remark, Castle looked up from the file he was reading with a grin on his face.

"Oooh. Monsters or Aliens?" he asked.

"Castle!" she hissed.

Esposito chimed in at the same time: "The X-Files? Don't you watch TV?"

"Is this going anywhere?" She queries, too tired for the banter. "Do you have the whereabouts of this 'junkie'?"

"Yeah," he continues, "the junkie hangs out in an abandoned apartment building on West 29th and 11th streets."

"Meet me there," Beckett orders. "Don't go in without me and we're going to wear vests. I know we're just looking for a witness, but addicts are unpredictable."

"Got it."

She hung up the phone and downed the now cold espresso in her cup. "Going to question a junkie about a monster. You coming?"

"Oh, yeah," he said as he rubbed his hands together. "We get to be Mulder and Scully. I'm Fox! You can be Scully. You know they had a kid together, right?" He winked at her.

Kate rolled her eyes with a half grin on her face and headed for the elevator. She convinced herself that this was why she kept him around. He made her smile doing a job that had little joy in it. It wasn't like she had any real feelings for him. Kate completely ignored the fact that everyday she stepped off the elevator hoping to see him at her desk. Or that even when she was with Will on weekends or at night, Castle would creep into her thoughts.

Castle continued to peruse the file from the M.E. on the way to the apartment building. "Wow. This hardly looks human. You ever seen anything like this before?" He was looking at the pictures of what used to be a body.

"Not quite this bad," she responded, maneuvering her way through the early afternoon traffic, forgetting that she had sworn to only speak to him when necessary. "I had a victim once, Lisa Cooper, she had been beheaded. The body was intact though, so the case was a little easier to put together." She gasped as she realized her pun and clasped her hand over her mouth.

Castle turned and looked at her, eyes wide and jaw slack. "Why Detective Beckett, I didn't know you had it in you." He grinned at her embarrassment.

"I don't have it in me. It's rubbing off of you." She grumped under her breath, but loud enough for him to hear.

They rode in silence the rest of the way.

Going after a suspect was always fun for Castle. He loved the chase in every sense of the word. And usually, he was oblivious to the danger. Kate Beckett, however, was extremely aware of the danger, and yet she had to ignore it most of the time. This was her job. Fear only clouds your judgment. She had to focus on what her senses were telling her, "Where is the scumbag?" This was just a witness, and his sanity was questionable at that. Nevertheless, she had a gnawing in the pit of her stomach.

Castle added another element to chasing the suspect. Yes, he had signed a waiver, but she still didn't want him to get shot. Not on her watch. Of course, _she_ wanted to shoot him, but she didn't want anyone else to get the satisfaction.

As she entered the lot, she noticed Ryan and Esposito's unmarked vehicle and pulled up next to them. She rolled down all of the windows before turning off the car. "Castle, I am ordering you to stay in the car."

"But it's really hot." He whined.

"That's why I rolled down the windows."

"But I really have to p…"

"Castle. Stay. Put." Her tone silenced him.

She vaulted out of the car and went around to the trunk to get her vest. "I think we should split up," she said to Esposito and Ryan. "You guys start at the main floor and go up. I'll go down. We'll meet back in the middle. Call me if you find him." Within seconds they had entered the building, with Kevlar on, but without guns drawn. There was no valid reason to pull their weapons for a witness, and when you split up, you have to minimize the risk of friendly fire.

Back in the car, Castle really did have to pee. It took way to much coffee to keep him witty after so little sleep. Rick was deep into writing the second Nikki Heat novel, and he was writing until two in the morning. The way he saw it he had two choices: he could disobey her orders and risk being shot or he could use the empty coffee cup on the dash. He chose the latter. Sliding down as far as he could in the seat and still be able to do the job, Rick grabbed the cup and unzipped his fly, praying to any deity that would listen that Kate wouldn't return before he was finished.

After the task was completed, he zipped up and saw some movement in front of the car out of the corner of his eye. Castle was low enough in the seat not to be seen, but what he saw set off alarm bells in his head. A kid with a wild look in his eyes and with a gun in his hand came around the corner of the building and slid into a basement window.

Again, he had to weigh his options: A) Go in after the kid and risk being shot by Beckett (for leaving the car), or B) Stay in the car and call her to alert her, potentially risking her life by giving up her location. In the past, he would not have been so concerned with the repercussions of leaving the car, but since the incident with The File, Castle sometimes had the feeling that Beckett was just looking for an excuse to shoot him. She wouldn't kill him of course, but wounding was not out of the question.

Choosing option A, Rick slipped out of the car, carefully placing the pee-filled coffee cup on the ground. He closed the door gently and silently. Edging his way toward the window, Castle peeked in. The window was about six and a half feet off the ground and went to a storage room. He could see that there was no one in the room (which was good because his head was practically inside) but he could not see the floor clearly. _Where's Indiana Jones with a torch when you need him?_ Castle remembered the scene from the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" with the snakes. _There aren't any snakes down there—just MOVE_. He slid inside feet first and waited for hissing sounds as he landed, crouched on a very gritty floor. Rick then had to stand still for a few seconds waiting for his eyes to adjust.

Castle saw a crow bar on the floor and snatched it up. _It's no match against a gun, but it's better than nothing._

He opened the door and slowly appraised his surroundings. There was hallway straight ahead and one to his left. At that moment he heard a sound to his left so he started quietly down that hall. He didn't know if that was Beckett or the junkie in front of him and either would probably shoot him, but he knew he had some distance between them. There was a door on the right and then one on the left. Both were locked. A few very dirty windows lined the outer wall of the hallway, letting little light in.

Castle came upon an opening on the right, which appeared to be an old, empty laundry room. He could see where the large appliances used to be, but there was nothing in the room but some old tables and a cabinet. There was another opening on the other side of the room, and he could see brief glimpses of light coming through. A flashlight. The laundry room must have been in the center of the building with hallways down both sides. Castle continued down the hallway to the next opening into the same room. In the opposite opening, he could see the light from Beckett's flashlight coming down the hall. For a second he thought he heard someone inside the laundry room.

The scene that opened up in front of him would haunt him for the rest of his life. Kate appeared in the doorway and her flashlight hit the junkie's feet. He was waiting for her. Castle didn't even see the junkie until it was too late. The gun was raised, and he was at most a foot from her. Without warning or hesitation, before she could say, "Freeze! Police!" or draw her weapon, he fired his weapon into her chest.

Detective Kate Beckett fell to the ground, her head smacking against the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**As promised. Hope I can wrap this up before Monday. Having a little trouble with the ending and there are at least 2 more chapters…**

_Detective Kate Beckett fell to the ground, her head smacking against the floor. _

Castle moved stealthily into the room. He hardly remembers thinking about it. He hears the junkie say, "You're pretty," and watched him move closer to Kate's crumpled body. As the kid brings the gun up in an attempt to fire a round into her skull, Castle comes in from behind him and swings the crow bar underhanded, hitting the arm holding the gun. The weapon fires a round into the cinderblock wall as the junkie lets it fly into the air.

Rick remembers getting hit by something. He thought it was a piece of cinderblock flying back. He hardly noticed. The junkie seemed to have a grip on the crowbar, but Castle jerked it back causing the kid to shriek in pain. Rick then hit him in the head to incapacitate him. Once the kid was out of the way, Rick grabbed the gun and slid it down the darkened hallway. He turned his attention to Kate.

"Kate, KATE! Can you hear me?" He kneels by her body and gently rolls her onto her back. Rick can hear Ryan and Esposito yelling, but they still sound very far away. Kate's head is bleeding, but Rick is more concerned with the hit she took. He slipped his hand in between the vest and her shirt, hoping that those were regular bullets and not cop killers. He can't feel any wound. _Thank God. _But then he also realizes that he can't feel her breathing either.

He looks at her face and notices a blue tinge around her lips. _Oh. God._

Castle places his ear over her mouth. _Nothing. Shit!_ He grabs her wrist and searches frantically for a pulse. After a few seconds that feel like hours he feels a very faint, slow pulse. "Breathe, dammit!"

He had heard of this before, while researching a book. Occasionally, the force of the bullet hitting the vest not only knocks the wind out of someone, but also stuns the diaphragm, and breathing stops.

He tilted her head back slightly to open the airway, all the while trying to avoid the large, oozing scrape on the side of her head. As he leaned over her face, drops of blood, his blood, fell into her hair. That was his first indication that he might be injured. With his right hand, Rick pinched her nose closed. Quickly running through the CPR checklist in his mind, the checklist that he's had memorized since before Alexis was born, he placed his mouth over hers and exhaled.

He turned his head to see if he could hear the air flowing back out of her mouth. Because of the bullet-proof vest Kate was wearing, Rick could not see the tell-tale sign of her chest rising and falling. As he placed his mouth over hers again, he heard Esposito and Ryan running up.

"Castle! Are you okay? What happened to Beckett?" Ryan was asking questions so fast he wouldn't have heard an answer if one had been given. "Where did all of this blood come from? Whose gun is that? Is that guy dead?"

"Ambulance is on its way, Castle." Esposito remarked. He walked over to the kid lying on the ground and started to check him out. The guy was out cold, but had a pulse and was breathing. He had a head wound that was bleeding like a, well, like a head wound, and he had a nasty gash on the underside of his right forearm.

After Castle's third breath into her lungs, Beckett coughed and moaned and coughed some more.

"Oh, thank God." Castle heaved in a sigh of relief. Absentmindedly, he grabbed her hand and squeezed. Kate's head began to turn back and forth and with a loud groan her beautiful green eyes rolled open. It took several minutes for her to come around fully, but she was moving and her eyes kept opening, which Castle, Esposito and Ryan all took to be a good sign.

She had a tough time focusing. Kate saw a lot of red, a lot of blood she realized. "What happened?" her words slurred as she tried to assess the situation.

"Take it easy," Castle said softly, "An ambulance is coming." He can hear the sirens getting closer.

"I think I'm okay." She stated, taking inventory of her extremities. She had a terrible pain in her chest and a matching one in her head. The right side of her body, particularly her shoulder, arm and hip throbbed a little, but none of these injuries seemed serious. She rolled a little to her left, towards Castle, and tried to push herself into a sitting position with her left arm. "You're bleeding, Castle."

A wave of dizziness overcomes her and she sways. Rick steadies her and moves to lay her back down on the floor.

"Whoa. Why don't we just take it easy and lay here until the ambulance gets here."

"Castle, I'm fine. Just a little dizzy." Beckett says as she lies back down. The last thing she wanted was to be seen as weak by her fellow officers.

"Well, seeing as you weren't breathing two minutes ago, I'm going to wait and hear a professional say that your fine." The blood from Castle's head is showing no signs of stopping, and since he's sitting up now, it's starting to get in his eye. He grabs the sleeve of his jacket with his fingers and presses it to his head.

All of the sudden, people flood into the hallway from the stairwell. Paramedics, firemen, patrolmen and Montgomery enter the scene with purpose. As Ryan and Esposito give the captain their version of the story (for what it's worth), the paramedics rush to Beckett, Castle and the junkie.

The kid was quickly examined and then loaded onto a stretcher and wheeled out of there.

The medic that was inspecting Castle opened his case and pulled out a stack of gauze pads pressing them to his head.

"Ouch!" Rick muttered.

"Do you know what hit you?" the medic asked.

"I think it was a piece of the wall over there. It happened when he fired the gun and the bullet hit the wall."

"I don't think so. The cut is very deep. It was caused by something bigger and heavier than a piece of cinderblock. Anything else you can think of?"

"Well I was holding a crowbar, but I'm pretty sure I didn't hit myself with it. Maybe it was the gun when it flew out of the guy's hand."

"Either one of those would fit," the medic answered. "We're going to take you to the hospital. You're going to need stitches."

Beckett was listening to the conversation Castle was having with the guy working on him while the two paramedics checking her out were taking her pulse and removing the vest. She was trying really hard to put things together, but she was having a hard time remembering anything that happened. The last thing she remembered was telling Castle to stay in the car, and him telling her he really needed to pee. Something told her that she shouldn't kill him for leaving the car.

As the female paramedic checked her pupillary responses, she asked, "Do you remember what happened Detective Beckett?"

"No. No, I don't. The last thing I remember is being in the parking lot."

"She was shot." Castle interjected. "The gun was close, and she was shot in the chest." His voice wavered a little and Kate had goose bumps. _Shot?_

"When she fell I heard her head hit the floor. She was out cold and she wasn't breathing." Castle continued. Kate's eyes widened as she began to realize the seriousness of what must have happened.

"So she lost consciousness?" the male counterpart working on Kate asked.

"Yes."

Esposito, Ryan and Montgomery approached Beckett and Castle as they heard the direction of the questioning.

Esposito interrupted, "When we got here the perp was out, Beckett was unconscious, and Castle was doing CPR."

Kate thought she was going to be sick. "CPR? What the hell happened?"

The paramedic looked at Castle. "She wasn't breathing?"

"No."

"Did she have a pulse?"

"Yes, faint and slow, but there."

"Did you do mouth-to-mouth?"

"Yes" Castle sounded like he was taking a polygraph test.

"Did you perform chest compressions?"

"No."

"About how many breaths did you give her before she started breathing on her own again?"

"Maybe three, maybe four. No, three,"

"Did she regain consciousness right away?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Wide eyed, Kate listened to the whole dialog. There was no humor in Castle's voice. He had saved her life at least once today. She caught his gaze as they were putting her on the stretcher. She saw a whirlwind of emotions in his eyes. She hoped he saw the gratitude in hers.

"Sir, let's get you on the ambulance." The paramedic helped Castle up and they slowly walked toward the staircase. Captain Montgomery stepped up next to Rick.

"You okay?"

"No. No, I'm not. That's the scariest shit I've ever seen. She was almost killed. Right in front of my eyes."

"Esposito and Ryan are going to need your statement at some point."

"I don't think I can give it right now."

"Understandable."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The ambulance ride to NYU Medical Center was uneventful. There were no sirens, just lights, and even though it was nearing rush hour, they made good time. Castle sat in the back with the paramedic, Kate strapped to the stretcher in front of them. Once during the ride, her eyes closed for a minute. He almost panicked, and as if she sensed it, Kate opened her eyes to meet his. They did not speak a word to each other.

The Captain, Esposito and Ryan followed the ambulance also with lights on. All of them were anxious for Castle's statement-seeing as he's the only one who knew what happened. The Captain needed to know, because in incidents like this one, it's not uncommon for Internal Affairs to get involved. So he definitely wanted no surprises.

When they arrived, doctors and nurses took Beckett to a trauma room to assess her injuries. Castle was taken to a procedure room where he was met by a plastic surgeon, who also happened to be a fan. There were perks to being a famous writer—no waiting. Ryan and Esposito had to wait almost an hour before the nurse informed them that the doctor was wrapping things up and they could go in. Montgomery was staying on top of Beckett's condition by pestering the nurses about his top detective.

"How many stitches?" Esposito asked the doc, right before he left the room.

"Sixteen teeny tiny ones. Should hardly be a scar," the doctor replied, giving Castle a nod as he left the room.

Richard Castle was in rare form that afternoon. He was serious. The twinkle had almost left his eyes completely. "Any word about Detective Beckett?" She was always his first concern.

"Nothing yet."

"I guess you guys want to know what happened."

Esposito nodded and both took out their notepads. Castle relayed the story to them from peeing in the Styrofoam coffee cup to breathing for Kate Beckett. They had a few questions along the way, and a comment or two to make. "Did Detective Beckett have her weapon drawn?"

Castle closed his eyes to try and remember the scene as clearly as possible. He shuddered in response. "No, her weapon wasn't drawn. She was only carrying her flashlight."

"Did she announce herself to the suspect?"

"No, she did not have time."

"You said that the 'junkie grabbed the crow bar.' You saw him grab it?"

"No, I felt him hold on to it."

Esposito grimaced a little, "He didn't hold on to it. When you hit his arm, the crow bar went into it. When you jerked it back, you tore a five inch long hole in his forearm. The surgeons are swearing at you. He will probably never hold a gun in that hand again."

Castle nodded his head. A little bit more of the twinkle returned. "Good. Is that it?"

"That's it," said Ryan.

"Now how's Beckett really?"

"They had just taken her to radiology for x-rays and a CAT scan before we came in here."

"Were you with her? Did she seem okay? She hit her head pretty hard." Castle asked. _She was almost killed right in front of me._

"We weren't in there with her, but we can go see if there's any news." Ryan and Esposito left Castle's room in search of the Captain. They were anxious to escape Castle's queries; neither had ever seen him this agitated before.

After checking the waiting room to no avail, Ryan asked the nurse at the desk if she knew where Captain Montgomery was. She informed them that Beckett was back from radiology and the Captain was with her, and she directed them to her room.

Beckett was out of immediate danger, so they moved her to a regular room. Ryan and Esposito joined the Captain in her room. Kate was leaning back on the bed at an angle; she gave them a tired smile when they entered. She had a bad scrape on the side of her face, but otherwise she looked like nothing happened.

"Did you get his statement?" The captain asked, curious to see if Castle was still too shaken up to give it.

"Yeah. He was actually pretty good with the details." Esposito remarked.

"What did he say?" Kate leaned forward in the bed as she asked, "What happened?"

Esposito's eyes shifted to the Captain, who gave a slight nod.

"After we entered the building, Castle saw the kid enter through a basement window with a gun in his hand. He followed him and then followed the noises in the basement because it was too dark to see anyone. He turned into the laundry room about the same time you got there on the other side."

Kate listened intently, as if she hadn't been there, because she couldn't remember any of it.

Esposito continued. "Castle saw the junkie fire at you and somehow had the presence of mind to quietly approach the kid. He hit the assailant's arm with a crowbar as the gun was being pointed at your head."

Kate had chills.

"After Castle knocked the guy out, he checked on you, discovered you weren't breathing and started CPR. We reached you guys while that was going on."

"He saved my life." Kate whispered, tears coming to her eyes.

"Twice today, actually." Ryan replied.

"How is he?"

"Fine. Sixteen stitches, should be no scar the doc said."

"How did he get hurt?"

"Best we can figure, when Castle knocked the gun out of the kid's hand, it went up in the air and hit Castle in the head before it hit the floor. Lucky it didn't knock him out." Esposito answered.

Kate nodded her head. She had a lump in her throat and couldn't quite decide how she should feel. She was grateful, of course; she wasn't ready to die. She was also angry, but she couldn't tell if it was directed inward or outward.

As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door and Castle entered. "Hey." His eyes sparkled a little bit more, seeing her there awake, but he was still worried. "How are you?"

"I think I can answer that question best," the doctor answered entering the room. She had a handful of x-rays in her hand. Placing them up on the light boards, she turned to Kate, "Do they need to leave while we discuss your condition?"

Castle held his breath. _No. I need to know she's okay._

"No. It's okay. They're nosy; they would find out anyway." Kate jibed.

Castle exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Kate shot a glance his way.

Dr. Wiggins explained that Beckett had sustained minor injuries: three cracked ribs and a concussion. "We'd like to keep you overnight for observation."

"No," Beckett answered curtly, drawing all eyes to her. "I really can't stay. There has to be a way I can go home."

"Detective Beckett, you live alone. I cannot in good conscience let you leave without knowing that someone will be with you at all times for the next 24 hours."

Kate thought for a second. "I have a friend who can come stay with me. She's a doctor." She left out the part about Lanie only having experience with corpses.

Dr. Wiggins nodded her head, and then looked at the four men in the room. "Which one of you will be taking her home?"

"I will," Castle replied, "and I'll stay until Dr. Parish gets there." He was really hoping he would be able to take Kate to his apartment so he could watch over her there, but she did have a boyfriend who hated him, so that probably wasn't the most prudent idea.

Kate met his eyes. Part of her wanted to object, but the other part was relieved that she would be able to talk to him about today.

"I'll send the nurse in with the discharge papers. She will run through the symptoms you should look out for. I'm also writing a prescription for Percocet. No driving."

"Thank you, Doctor" Kate answered.

_Yes, thank you doctor. _Castle thought. _Best news I've had all day._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Okay, so I didn't wrap it up by yesterday, but I think my story will be okay. This chapter gets a little heated at the end. Never written a love scene before. If it needs something you know what to do.**

**Chapter 5**

The cab ride back to her apartment was peaceful. No, worse than that, it was silent. Except for when she gave the cabbie her address, neither one of them said a word. She glanced at him a couple of times, but he never looked her way. Was he angry? And if so, why? She wanted to ask him if he was okay, but she couldn't make anything come out of her mouth. Part of her felt like she was in high school, when the guy you wanted to talk to sat down next to you and the butterflies were so bad you couldn't say anything.

Why is she so nervous to talk to Castle? Then it hit her. Castle usually talks to her. He was not himself and that made her nervous. He was acting like the day he told her about her mother. Serious. And she really didn't know how to approach him.

He saved her life. She was sure of that. But he was not gloating, threatening her with "making it up to him." He sat there next to her like he was expecting to wake up from a dream.

Castle paid the cab driver and followed her into her building. The elevator was filled with the same silence and tension. Kate was starting to get annoyed. _Say something._ They walked into her apartment. "I'm going to take a shower." She said softly.

"Call if you need anything." He sounded sincere. Most of the time that remark would have been suggestive. That's just who he was, but not today.

If she weren't so exhausted, she might have had a problem with letting Richard Castle loose in her apartment. But right now she could hear him moving about in the kitchen and she didn't care.

Kate walked straight into the bathroom. Slipping off her shoes, she grabbed her cell phone from her waist and made a phone call.

"Kate?"

"Hey, Lanie."

"Are you okay? I heard about what happened. I tried to call earlier, but it kept going to voicemail."

"Yeah, we just got back to my apartment. I didn't have any signal at the hospital. Listen, I need a favor: could you come over and spend the night here to make sure I don't have a subdural hematoma caused by my concussion? I don't think Castle will leave until you're here."

"Castle is there?"

"Yeah, he came home with me. A babysitter until you get here."

"MmmHmm. Are you sure you want me to come over there?" Even after the stunt that Castle pulled, she still thought Beckett should have a little fun with him.

"Lanie, get your head out if the gutter! He has stitches; I have a concussion and cracked ribs. And then there's…uh…Will."

"Right, Will. Okay sweetie, I'm just finishing up with some autopsy notes and I'll be right over.

"Thanks Lanie."

"No problem."

Kate laid the phone down on the counter and started taking off her clothes. When she was fully undressed, she looked in the full length mirror to assess the damage. She had a good bruise forming on her right hip and shoulder. Upon examination, it appeared that she had blood in her hair. The prize though was the bulls-eye just left of center on her upper chest. It was an angry purple in the middle radiating out to a hideous green. The reminder of how close she had come to dying. Kate was not afraid of dying; she didn't want it to hurt, but she wasn't afraid. Heaven, or whatever is after, is where her mother is.

She turned on the water and gingerly stepped in. Her body was getting stiff, maybe the hot shower would help. As she was washing the days' events away, Kate thought about the incident. _He saved my life._ CPR. She tried to imagine that, Castle breathing air into her lungs. It made her tingle. She needed to say thank you.

After the shower, once she was dressed, Kate made her way towards the living room. The butterflies were back. She stopped in the doorway and appraised him. He was standing next to the window leaning his forehead against it. There was an empty glass on the sill next to him. His clothes were spattered with blood, not his usual attire, and the look on his face was agony. _Agony?_

"I called Lanie. She's coming over. You don't have to stay." _Please stay._

He turned and looked at her. She saw him looking at the bruise on her chest.

"You could have died. You were almost killed." _Here we go._

"And the great Castle came to my rescue again." She might have gone overboard with the sarcasm. "One more time you saved my life. I guess I owe you, right?" She smiled in reference to a previous incident.

"Don't." He was walking closer. "Don't do that. Don't make it out to be some ordinary event that we can laugh about." He was standing right in front of her.

"Castle, it's my job."

"It's not your job. It's not your job to get killed. Just because you put yourself out there everyday, doesn't mean it's your job to die that way." _That's it. I scared him. That's why he's so upset. Forget how he scares me on a regular basis._

"We'll talk about it tomorrow. Things always look clearer in the light of day." She choked on the last sentence, her mother's phrase. Kate could feel the lump in her throat and tears coming to her eyes.

Castle lifted his hand to her chest, running the tips of his fingers around the visible edge of the bruise. She was sure he could feel the hammering of her heart against her ribcage. Kate felt a pleasant warmth igniting under his fingertips. She couldn't suppress the tremble. Then his eyes met hers and his other hand was on her neck.

"You were almost killed." He whispered and she had goose bumps. Fear swam with passion in his eyes.

"I'm alive." She whispered back.

Castle brushed his lips over hers. Her hand slid up his shirt, grabbing his collar to hold him there. She leaned in and tasted his bottom lip. _What are you doing? _Her brain was screaming at her. _What about Will?_ He returned her kiss. A couple more times back and forth, their breathing getting heavier by the second. Kate felt a tingle run down her spine and around to her belly, igniting there.

Their tongues met and it was like completing a circuit. The current running between them was irresistible. Rick slid one hand into her hair the other coming down to rest on her hip. He gently pushed her back against the wall, his body flush with hers. They both moaned at the contact. Kate had one hand at the nape of his neck, the other on his shoulder. She wanted him and he wanted her, neither could deny that at this moment.

Rick never meant for it to go here. He was attracted to her and he cared immensely, but she was seeing someone else. He was not that guy, that guy who stole the girl. And yet he couldn't stop kissing her. He felt her leg come around and wrap around his, intensifying the contact. _She is trying to kill me. _Another moan, and he couldn't tell who it came from.

Kate's brain wasn't working correctly. There was a voice in the back of her head saying, "This has to stop. It's going too far too fast. Will." But the voice was being drowned out by the endorphins flooding her mind. She wrapped her leg around his. _Don't stop._ Almost as soon as she thought it his lips left hers. She held him tighter, one hand behind his head, the other behind his neck. His lips made contact again under her ear. He worked his way down to the crook of her neck and started across her shoulder, his hand coming up to move aside her strap.

"Rick," she half whispered half moaned.

He heard her say his name and it thrilled him. He realized he wanted her to be his, not a one night stand thing they would both regret. His lips left her shoulder and he put the strap back in place. He had to get out of there before this got out of control. _Lanie, where are you?_

"What are you doing?" She whispered, a look of confusion on her face.

He gave her a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry. You don't need this right now." She loosened her grip on him. There was a knock on the door. _Thank God._ "I'm sorry. Call me if you need anything. I'm so glad you're okay."

Castle went to the door and let Lanie in. She gave him a suspicious look. "Are you okay? You look flushed."

"I'm fine. Take good care of her. Call me if you need anything."

And he walked out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**This one is a bit longer, because I couldn't figure out where to end the chapter. The story is turning out to be longer than I originally planned, but I hope you like it anyway. Maybe one or two more chapters? We'll see. Will's coming home soon.**

**Chapter 6**

Lanie entered Kate's apartment to find her sitting on the corner of the couch chewing her thumbnail.

"Hey girl, what's going on? Writer Boy just left looking all flushed and then I get in here and you're flushed and nervous…and what is that mark on your neck?"

Kate's eyes widened and she hopped up to check in the mirror. _It appears that Castle left his mark._ That means that it wasn't her imagination. It really happened.

"We kissed."

Now it was Lanie's turn to be surprised. "Girl, I knew I shouldn't have come over. Now I want the details—spill."

Kate sat down on the couch next to Lanie. She told the whole story about the junkie, getting shot, Castle doing CPR. When she got back to the part where they get to the apartment, Kate wrapped it up with "We kissed."

"Uh-Uh. No way you are ending this story like that. I want details girl."

Kate had a serious look on her face. "It happened so fast. He was so serious, so concerned. He kept saying 'You were almost killed.' I could see it in his eyes. The fear. Then he kissed me and I kissed him back. It started out gentle, but then…" She drifted off.

"But then what?" Lanie had no patience for this. "You didn't…"

"No." Kate answered quickly. "But I would have." She said much softer.

Surprised, Lanie said, "_He _stopped?"

Kate nodded, again chewing on her thumbnail. "He said, 'I'm sorry. You don't need this right now.' Or something like that. Then you knocked on the door and he left. I'm not really sure what to make of it."

Hesitantly, Lanie asked, "What about Will?"

Kate's eyebrows went up. "Will…hasn't…well he has crossed my mind, but what we have doesn't feel anything like what Castle and I…" Kate realized that she just referred to her and Castle as a couple. It was exciting and nerve-wracking. "Lanie, what do I do?"

"Let's not panic. I would keep things status quo for now. Where is Will anyway?"

"He is in D.C. until late tomorrow-I mean tonight."

"Does he even know about the incident tonight?"

"No. I really haven't had the opportunity to tell him. Besides, it's so late. I'll tell him in the morning." Kate yawned. The adrenaline rush was wearing off and she was getting tired. "I'm going to bed. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You realize that I'm going to wake you up every two hours, right?"

"Ugh. I should have known that you would take this seriously."

"Kate, are you forgetting that I autopsy people for a living? This has been a cause of death before. Do you need pain medication before you turn in?"

"Oh, crap. Forgot to fill it. In fact, shit, it's in Castle's pocket. I'll just take ibuprofen."

"Take four." Lanie advised. "You're going to feel like crap when you wake up. You might as well sleep as well as you can."

**In the Morning**

Lanie was right. Kate could hardly move in the morning her body was so sore. She took a few more ibuprofen and headed into work. Montgomery told her not to come in, but they had an open case and hopefully Ryan and Esposito were continuing to work it.

She also wondered if Castle would be there. The captain was talking to both of them when he said "take the day," but Castle was no better than she was at staying away from an open case. She wanted to see him. The mark on her neck was verification enough that last night really happened, but she wanted to get a read on him now.

Will had called this morning, concerned that he had not been able to reach her last night. Lanie picked up the phone, so he knew something was up by the time Kate had the handset. She relayed the whole story to him, and his responses were apropos of law enforcement, "lucky you were wearing your vest; why didn't you draw your weapon?" It only got interesting when she mentioned being unconscious and not breathing. He didn't seem too concerned (obviously the problem was solved or she wouldn't be talking to him now) until she mentioned that Castle did mouth-to-mouth. That hit a nerve.

"Are you sure you really weren't breathing?" Kate hung up on him.

Kate walked stiffly into the precinct at around 11 am. She was disappointed that Castle wasn't sitting at her desk, but then she saw him in Montgomery's office. He had a serious look on his face until he saw her. Then it intensified even more. She felt her face flush and the tingle ran down her back again. She quickly sat down at her desk before she fell down.

"What's with Castle?" Beckett asked Esposito.

"I don't know. He came in and went straight to the captain's office. Barely said 'Hi.'"

Castle was extremely anxious when he came into the precinct this morning. He barely had any sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the junkie firing his weapon at Kate's chest and head. When he finally did fall asleep he had the worst nightmare of all. The vest wasn't there, so when the junkie fired it left a gaping wound. After he disabled the kid, he went to Kate's side and tried to stop the bleeding. She opened her eyes and said, "If I'd had a real partner this wouldn't have happened." He woke up screaming so loud that his mother and Alexis came running into the room.

So when he arrived, he went straight to Montgomery's office. "Would this have happened if Beckett had a real partner?"

"Good to see you, Castle. Yes, come on in to my office I'm not busy at all."

Castle sat back and looked at him, "Roy, come on, answer my question."

"Rick, she didn't have a partner before you. She works best on her own. In all likelihood, if you hadn't been there, I would be burying an officer today."

At that moment, Rick saw Kate enter the squad. Their eyes met and he was overwhelmed with emotion for this woman. Kissing her had not been a release, it was an impetus, a hunger for her he didn't have before. _This is not going to be easy._ Even if he decided to stay and work with her, she was involved with someone else and he had no idea how she felt about last night.

"What is she doing here?" Castle asked.

"I thought I told her to take the day off." Montgomery stated. "Maybe she thought that was a suggestion. Let me remedy that."

The captain left his office and headed straight for Beckett's desk with Castle on his heels. "Detective Beckett, I thought I told you to take the day off. Why are you here?"

"Sir, I didn't have any where else to go. Lanie stayed with me last night, but I am supposed to be supervised for at least 24 hours, and she had to come into work. What did you want me to do?" Kate thought that she won this one. There was a gleam in her eye and a slight smirk on her lips. She really just wanted to be here so she didn't have to think about last night.

"No problem, Beckett. Castle here will take you home and stay with you until Dr. Parish returns or someone else who can take care of you." Castle's head whipped around to him with wide eyes. _That's just great. I confide in him and this is how he repays me._

Kate was immediately nervous. Excited as she was to be close to him, she wasn't sure how he felt and if she was ready for any sudden changes.

"Can you at least have Esposito and Ryan give me a call when they get back. I want to be kept in the loop as to what's going on."

"No problem, Beckett. Now get out of here." The captain ordered. "Castle about what we talked about before, it's not an issue. Take care of your partner."

In the elevator Castle asked, "Do you mind if we go to my place? Mother is out and I like for someone to be home when Alexis gets there. Especially since Owen is coming with her to help her 'study.'"

"You know, I can just go home by myself. I'm sure this is just a precaution and I'll be fine."

"Oh no you don't. You have five more hours until your 24 is up. I'm watching you -- come hell or high water. If you need to be at your place then we'll go there. I'll just call mother and tell her to be home for Alexis."

"No, don't do that. I just didn't want to put you out. If you're going to be stubborn about it, then fine. We'll go to your place."

Surprisingly, the cab ride to Castle's place was less tense than the night before.

"So are Alexis and Owen an item now?"

"Since the prom. They've hit a few bumps in the road, but still going strong. It scares me to death."

"What for? I thought you liked him."

"I do. I do. It's just that, well, she's going to be sixteen and he's going to be sixteen and I know who I was at sixteen—"

"She's not you." In the short time Kate has known Alexis, it was apparent to her that she had a good head on her shoulders.

"I know and I thank God that she isn't, but the thought of my little girl even thinking about having sex or doing anything else…" He shivered. "It's right now that I wish she didn't believe in sex before marriage."

Kate chuckled, "That would've been difficult for you. Children are led by example."

"Oh, God. Then I'm definitely screwed."

"Not a word about the pun, Castle"

He smiled.

When they get to his apartment, she immediately takes off her shoes. For some reason she feels like her balance is off today. Castle watched as she did this and furrowed his brow. Unusual behavior for Kate.

"This okay?" she asked picking up on his facial expression.

"Yeah, sure. Just not something I've ever seen you do before."

"Hmmmm. Listen, I want to say something about last night." In the cab they had such nice easy conversation. Kate basically made the decision that they should stay friends, the episode last night was just exhaustion and relief.

"Okay," he said hesitantly, walking to the kitchen. "Do you want something to eat? Lunch? You need to keep your strength up."

"I can eat."

"I'll make some sandwiches. Can you slice this tomato while I get everything else ready?" He put a tomato on a cutting board and laid a knife beside it.

"Sure," she said and walked into the kitchen.

Castle was fishing things out of the refrigerator and the pantry. "You were saying?" He said with his back to her.

"Yeah. I just don't want you to misunderstand. I was exhausted; you were exhausted. Our emotions were running high. I just think that we should chalk it up to that and not make it an issue." Her cheeks flushed just talking about it, but it was best for them. As he heard the direction of her "speech," he set all of the things in his arms down on the counter, and walked up behind her. _Nonsense._ He thought. He knew what she was trying to do, but he wasn't going to let her get away with it. He wouldn't actively pursue her while she was in a relationship, but he wasn't going to let her think that there was nothing between them.

"It's not an issue." He said into her hair. Kate stiffened as she realized how close he was. He leaned in until his nose was touching her scalp and inhaled the scent of her hair. Kate's hands stilled and the knife fell to the cutting board. He moved until his mouth was right behind her ear. She trembled. "It was _something_ though."

She could feel his breath on her and then his hands were on her waist holding her back to him. He continued to move, smelling her hair. Against her will she moaned and her head fell to the side. One hand moved up to the back of her neck and gathered her hair to one side. As he nuzzled her neck, his other hand moved up under her shirt to rest on the bare skin of her belly. She actually felt her knees go weak. "Why don't you go sit on the couch while I finish up here?" He murmured into her ear. _Right that was just exhaustion._

He backed away from her, keeping a hand at the small of her back until she had her legs back under her again. She turned and headed for the great room and the couch. He watched her walk and thought that something seemed off, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Turning back to the counter he saw the tomato wedges. _I could have sworn I asked her to slice them._

When lunch was ready and set out on the counter, Rick went to the couch to get Kate. She had leaned back into the cushions and her eyes were closed. "Kate, lunch is ready."

She didn't respond. He grabbed her shoulder and shook gently, "Kate, are you okay?"

Her eyes rolled open and she looked at him. Instantly she smiled and he smiled back. "Oh! How am I going to resist two of you?" His smile faded.

"Two of me, what are you talking about?" _Double vision was one of those symptoms._

She sat up and her face turned green. "Can one of you grab me a bucket? I think I'm going to be sick." He reached behind him and grabbed the trash can just in time for her to heave the contents of her stomach into it. _Shit. That's two symptoms._

As soon as she finished throwing up, Castle called downstairs and told the doorman he needed a car to take him to the hospital immediately. Snagging a plastic bag, he scooped Kate up into his arms and headed for the elevator.


	7. Chapter 7

**The story is coming fast now…working on how to end this one because the sequel is writing itself in my head. This is addicting. Thanks everyone for the reviews and support. It may be a little while before I update again…I'm behind with the laundry!**

**Chapter 7**

On the way to the hospital, Kate developed an excruciating headache. Every move of her head caused her to moan, and it was painful to watch because she was still heaving into the plastic bag. Rick had the presence of mind to call the hospital and let them know they were coming.

When they arrived, a nurse was waiting at the door with a wheelchair (again fame had its advantages). They let him follow her to the room. He watched as they examined her and answered as many questions as he could. He was stunned at how fast the symptoms presented themselves. Castle looked away when they took off her clothes to put a gown on her. After her examination, the doctor came over to him and said, "It's probably a subdural hematoma. The symptoms fit. We are sending her to the MRI now to get a good look at the brain and see where it is. Depending on what they find, she may be taken straight to surgery. If you could wait in the waiting room, I'll update you as soon as we know anything."

"How serious is that?"

"It can be very serious. Depending on how much pressure is put on the brain, sometimes the damage is severe. But we won't know anything until after the MRI."

In the waiting room, Castle called Lanie, Montgomery and Sorenson to let them know what was going on. Sorenson's cell went straight to voicemail, so he left an urgent message for him to call back. Then he called his mother and let her know where he was and that Alexis would be home alone with Owen, so could she please get there to chaperone. He wished he knew the number of at least one of her family members, but he left her purse at his apartment, so he didn't have her cell.

They must have rushed her in to the MRI, because a nurse came to him with an update 30 minutes later. "Mr. Castle, Detective Beckett does have a subdural hematoma. She is upstairs being prepped for surgery as we speak. You can come see her before we take her in. Just follow me."

His legs felt like jelly. He followed the nurse to the elevator and she led him to a pre-op room. Kate was lying there, very still with an IV in her arm. Castle went to the other arm, grabbed her hand and squeezed. Her eyes opened at the contact and without moving her head she looked at him and smiled. "Still seeing two of you."

A nurse wheeled over to the head of the gurney on a stool and began to cut some of Kate's hair.

"What are they doing? Are they going to shave my head?" Kate's brow furrowed. Castle looked over to the nurse who was shaking her head.

"Actually, I'm only cutting a little bit. We will shave two spots, about 4 cm in diameter. It should be easily covered with the remaining hair."

At that moment, the doctor came in. "I'm Doctor Ballard, the neurosurgeon, I'll be performing the operation on Ms. Beckett. Do you have any questions?"

"What's going to happen?" Kate asked, slurring her words a little.

"I'm going to drill two holes. We should be able to access the clot through these. I expect this to be uncomplicated. It's a pretty standard procedure."

"How long will the recovery take?" Rick asked.

"That all depends on the extent of the damage, but I expect her to make a full recovery."

Castle gave Kate a small smile.

"Just what I need," she joked. "A couple of extra holes in my head."

"I called Lanie, the captain and Will. Is there anyone else you want me to call for you?"

"My dad needs to know. David Beckett in Rockaway, Can you call him?"

"Sure."

An orderly came in the room and the nurse stood up. "Okay, we're ready to go." Looking at Castle she said, "If you go out that door and turn right there is a surgical waiting room at the end of the hall."

Castle nodded. He leaned down and gave Kate a kiss on the forehead. Pulling back a little he looked in her eyes. "When you come out I expect you to only see one of me." He joked. She smiled, and he couldn't resist. He kissed her gently on the lips and said, "See you in a little bit. Be good."

He watched as they wheeled her away. _Brain surgery. Really? She hasn't been through enough?_ Turning he went out the door and headed for the waiting room. As if on cue, his phone vibrated when entered the room. Cell phones were allowed here. _Will Sorenson, great._

"Castle"

"Hey, it's the writer monkey, I got your message." Will said tightly. "What's up? I tried Kate's home and cell number and she didn't pick up."

"She's back at the hospital. She has a subdural hematoma. They just took her to surgery."

"What? What happened? Which hospital? I just spoke with her this morning; she was fine."

"I noticed earlier that she was walking funny. Then she was seeing double right before she started vomiting. I got her here as fast as I could. We're at NYU Medical Center."

"She was with you?"

"The captain sent her home. There was no one else to be with her. If she were alone when this happened…" His voice drifted away. _She would be dying. That's twice in as many days. Castle didn't know how much he could take._

"I just landed from Washington. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay."

"Thanks, Castle."

"Yeah." And he hung up.

Two hours later, the surgeon reappeared. When Castle got up to speak with him he was joined by more than half a dozen people, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Montgomery, Sorenson, David Beckett, and Avery Moore and Maggie Kemper, Kate's sisters.

"It looks real good. The clot came out nicely. She is in recovery now. She's awake and asking for you." The surgeon looked at Castle. Castle felt uneasy now with Sorenson and her family here.

"Let me ask you this," Castle wondered, "Did you fill in the holes? Or are they still there?"

The surgeon smiled slightly, "Cadaver paste."

"Oh,yes. That's right." Castle remembered something from previous research. "Okay, so where is recovery?"

"This way," the surgeon said. As the whole crowd started to move down the hall, he stopped them. "Only one visitor at a time. And remember, she just had brain surgery." The surgeon guided Castle to recovery.

When he reached Beckett's bed, he stopped at the foot and assessed the situation. She still had her IV and now had heart monitors and a blood pressure cuff added to her. "Hi," he said, "How are you feeling?" He came around to the side of the bed.

"Like I had two holes drilled in my head." She said as she opened her eyes, they were glazed over and he could tell she was having a tough time keeping them open. His hand found hers and he gave it a squeeze.

She squeezed back and looked up at him, "Yep, just one."

"Just one what?"

"Just one you."

He smiled, "That's all I want to hear. Hey, there are a lot of people out there who want to see you."

"Really? Who?"

"Your dad and your sisters are out there. Will is there." He paused for a second to watch her reaction. Something flashed over her face, but it was quickly replaced with a smile. "Oh, and the captain, Lanie, Esposito and Ryan are out there as well. Who should I send in first?"

"I bet my dad is pretty upset. I think I should see him." She paused. "Thank you, Castle."

"No problem." He leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek, but she turned her head slightly and he met her lips. _So, the affection wasn't caused by intracranial pressure…_

As he straightened, he informed her that he was going home, but he would be back later.

She smiled and closed her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Last chapter. It surprised me, but here it is. There is a sequel on the horizon. Thanks for everthing!**

**Chapter 8**

When she woke again, she was in a private room. She saw her father, her sisters and Will while she was in recovery, but she couldn't fight the sleep any longer, so the captain, Ryan and Esposito had to wait. When they finally saw her, they broke down the case for her. The mutilated body belonged to a Yale undergraduate named Marcus Heath. They didn't know who did it yet, but they had some good leads. The junkie who shot Beckett was high and claimed that it was self-defense. He thought she was coming to kill him. They would keep her up to date.

Will came in just as they were leaving. He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. Kate felt strange. On the one hand, she and Castle had shared some pretty intense moments in the last two days. On the other, Kate and Will have known each other for a long time, and while at one time she would have said she loved him, she wasn't sure she couldn't love him again. It was this that frustrated and haunted her. She and Castle would be fiery, passionate and amazing. Her relationship with Will was definitely more constant, but they were good together too. And Will loved her, he would take care of her…forever. Castle was a little more unpredictable.

"I think we should go away," Will stated, "somewhere you can recuperate in a stress free environment." Kate looked at him warily. "Captain Montgomery said that you needed to take a week off. I have a lot of vacation days that my boss is dying for me to use, so what do you say?"

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Kate asked, "Where would we go?"

"I have a friend that has a place in Hilton Head."

"South Carolina? Isn't that a little hot?"

"Actually it's quite pleasant. I have tickets reserved for the day after tomorrow. Your doctor would have to give the 'go ahead' of course. I think it would be good for both of us."

Kate pondered that for a few minutes. She knew it would hurt Castle, and that was not her intention. But she owed it to herself to find out what—who was best for her. She slowly nodded her head, "Okay. Sounds good. I'm game."

"Great!" Will said, smiling broadly, and he leaned in to kiss her.

At that moment Castle walked in. To see them kissing was a blow, but he was going to take it in stride. When they stopped they noticed him there. Kate blushed a bright pink and looked down at her hands. Will stood up and extended his hand to Castle, "I never did get a chance to say 'Thank You,' for everything."

"No problem. Happy to help." Castle sounded closed off.

"Hey, I have to go back and tell the boss. I'll be back later." Will winked at Kate and walked out the door like he was on cloud nine.

"Tell the boss what?" Castle asked Kate after Will left.

"He—WE are taking a vacation. We leave the day after tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay then." Another blow. His emotions were not going to stay hidden much longer. He needed to leave. What did he think would happen? That she would just tell Will "good bye" and they would live happily ever after? It was too much to expect. "Did you get to talk to the Captain?"

She nodded. She hadn't missed the expressions on his face and the lump in her throat was back.

"The case is getting interesting." Castle remarked, uncharacteristically unenthused.

"Yeah." Kate said, raising her eyebrows and looking down at the blanket. "I think they'll get the guy."

"I hope so. Listen, I'm going to run. You have my number if you need _anything._" He turned and walked out the door, saying "G'Night Kate."

Kate Beckett was never one to cry especially over men, but she couldn't help the tear that escaped. Quickly wiping it away, she leaned back into the pillows and went to sleep.

The next day, Will was there when her doctor made rounds. He asked if it was okay to take her away, okay for her to fly. The doctor didn't have any problem with that as long as she didn't go anywhere too remote. He warned against any strenuous activity, giving Will a look, and was sending her down for one more CT scan. If that was clear, she would be discharged that afternoon.

On the way back to her apartment, Kate asked Will if he would stop by Castle's apartment. She wanted to thank him herself and she needed to pick up her things that were left there the day before. She really wanted to explain her decision, but she couldn't say that to Will. Kate was wearing the jeans and shirt Castle had taken her to the hospital in; she could still smell him on her shirt. Will brought her some flip-flops and an NYPD baseball cap from home. She requested the cap because she didn't want people to see the bandage wrapped around her head. She ran into Alexis and Martha as they were leaving. "Beckett!" Alexis exclaimed, and ran over and hugged her. "We're so glad you're okay."

Martha had already sensed that something was up with her son, so she sent Beckett inside. "He's in his office, dear. I'm famished Alexis, let's go."

Kate walked in to the apartment and headed to his office. He was sitting at his desk, staring off into space. She leaned against the door way to his office, watching him for a minute. "Hey." She said softly.

He looked over at her, "Hey. Did you come by to get your things?"

"Yeah, I'll need my ID for the plane"

"Your weapon is here too. Safest I've felt in a long time." he jibed. He stood and reached for the top shelf of the bookcase in the corner. Castle handed Kate her bag (weapon inside) and shoes.

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward silence. Kate leaned against the arm of a chair. She took a deep breath, "I want to explain."

"You don't have to." He sounded resigned to losing, a very un-Castle like response.

"I think I do." She hesitated. "I care about you, Castle, more than I should. And we both know that there is a" she bit her lip, "a physical attraction." He nodded, eyebrows raised. "But I'm not ready to trust you with my heart or my future."

Castle swallowed hard, and gave a slight nod as he looked to the floor. _I deserve that. _

"Will loves me, and I once loved him. I can't throw that away. This deserves a chance." She swallowed the lump in her throat and continued. "But I want you to know how…thankful doesn't even begin to cover it, how _grateful_ I am that you saved my life. Fate seemed to have it in for me over the last two days," she chuckled, "and you foiled it at every turn. For that I am eternally grateful."

He nodded. _Don't you know Kate? I would die for you._ He surprised himself with his thoughts. But he didn't want to think about living in a world where she didn't exist. He could live without her, as long as she was happy.

She stood up to go. "Will you be at work when I get back?" She didn't want this to be the last time she saw him.

He shook his head and raised his eyebrows again. "Maybe, just depends what PR has to be done for the book."

She nodded. There was nothing she could do to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. She couldn't blame him. She hurt him, and he had to try and protect himself. She walked over and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek lingering a little longer than necessary.

"Bye, Castle." She whispered and then she was gone.

**Конец**


End file.
